Morning. Mm.
Oh. Wow. Okay. Hey there. Let's, uh... and break!
Can I give you some constructive criticism?
As long as you start with something nice.
You are a great gal, really smart and funny...
I can swim real fast.
So fast. But your hugs are too intense.
Now I love 'em... not really...
but with people who you aren't sleeping with,
you can't give them a "stab me
with your pelvic bone" hug. But people love them.
But people don't. Look, just dial it back a little, Okay?
Like, say I'm a grocery boy who just helped you
with your groceries. How do you thank me?
Ohh! See? That's... that's... that's a little much.
Okay. Mm.
Aw!
Happy Thanksgiving break, sweetie. Mwah. Mwah.
Oh, I'm so glad you could make it, Kevin.
Ohh! Jules.
I can't help it. It's like hugging a sofa.
Mm!
Thank you for having me, Mrs. Cobb, sir.
Let's go.
Did you notice that Kevin just thanked both of us?
This is our first Thanksgiving that we're hosting together.
Are you sure you're ready?
I was here last year. How does hosting make this any different?
We'll probably have sex afterwards.
I think I'm ready.
Really? Yeah.
Ohh! Mm!
Ugh. Andy, your brother called me
because you're not picking up your cell.
Big Maria and little Maria and wheelchair Maria
all say "Hi."
Oh. Dear God, I hate your family.
Sorry, Babe.
I lost my cell.
My life would fall apart without my phone.
It's like my second brain.
Only brain.
Ugh. It has my calendar, my e-mail, all my apps,
like my birth control reminder... Mm.
My updo how-to... Oh.
And my death-row tracker.
So it vibrates every time someone gets executed. Yeah.
My candy journal, my dramatic music sting,
my virtual horoscope...
Really? 'Cause I just downloaded an app app.
When you shake it,
Zach Braff tells you what appetizer to order.
How about some potato skins?
Yum. Good-bye.
Honey, did you cancel your cell yet?
Nah. Someone will bring it back. Everything goes my way.
You know why? Because I believe it will.
Is he being serious right now?
Nah. 'Cause if he is saying it back. I wanna punch you in the face.
It won't stop him. He's the world's biggest optimist.
Ugh.
I love pot stickers.
Waiter!
Thank you. Hi.
Hey, sister. Whip me up a 'aramel macchatata,
two 'spresso pumps,
and a crapload of extra foam. I'm sorry. What?
'aramel macch, two 'spresso pumps, crapload-a foam.
I can't understand you.
Crapload-a foam, girl! Crapload-a foam!
It was ridiculous.
You guys can understand what I say, right?
It should be me.
Listen, I probably should've brought this up to you
in our fifth or sixth year of marriage, but, you see,
sometimes, um, when you talk too quickly
or, um, too quietly...
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or, well, just when you talk at all...
Get to it!
Bobby, we can't understand one word you say.
Or as you would put it,
"we can't grouberdan yur frazzle dazzle!"
Y'all think you're funnier than a barrel
full of foxworthys, but you're not. Bobby,
you're right! We're sorry.
What did he just say?
Got me!
Frazzle dazzle.
Oh, no, no, no. No cashews. I'm allergic.
Cashews, penicillin, and cat dander,
whatever the hell that is.
Oh, I'm allergic to oysters, onions, and... my ex-wife.
No, no, no, seriously. She's right there.
Wow. Are those real?
Yeah.
Grayson, Happy Thanksgiving.
Vivian, you remember Jules, our old neighbor?
Hey, Viv.
Missed you. You know, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm bad at hugs.
Jules and I are together now.
That's why she's acting so weird.
You always did like to watch her jog.
That is the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well, it was good to see you both.
You, too!
Ugh. Thank God that is over.
Oh, God. We're following her.
Okay, I have been so upset about your lost phone that I forgot
to tend to my virtual horse's virtual broken leg,
and I had to virtually shoot him in the head.
Your life is so dumb.
Not now, golden girl.
Andy, your phone isn't coming back.
I mean, have you even called it to see who picks up?
Let's do that.
Wait. What?
Oh, it's Laurie. She's fun.
Hey, Laurie. It was returned. Interesting. Bye!
Hand-delivered by a tiny Chinese man
who also gave me a scalp massage to die for.
Was he a masseuse or something? Nope. Just happened.
No! What if being optimistic actually makes good things
happen in your life, hmm? In your head,
it's all doom and gloom. In my head, I hear music.
It's all bouncy, positive stuff, like reggae.
* The phone come back, the life is good *
* Me scalp got rubbed by a Chinese dude *
* Jamaica! *
* Oh, dah-oh-doh-doh *
I am going to beat the optimism out of that man,
and I know he's your husband, but then...
Laurie, enough. I'm in.
Aah!
Great shopping with you, Vivvers!
Why did we have to follow her?
I'm sorry. It's just that I saw her last Thanksgiving,
and she was with her new husband and pregnant.
She looked at me with such pity.
It was like,
"my life's so great, and you've... got nothing."
Hey. But now I have everything.
I just needed her to see that.
What?
Nothing. It's just, this is so awesome. Just keep going.
I'm happier with you than I have ever been in my life.
Oh, Grayson.
Mm.
I love you.
Jules...
Thank you.
We still gotta get some yams, right?
Yeah. Isle two. Yams?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Aisle two.
So he didn't say "I love you" back.
It's not a big deal, right?
You promised you wouldn't say it before he did.
It just slipped out. It was like a soda burp.
Look, we've been really into each other lately.
I-I... let me tell ya, the other morning,
we were in the shower... Go... What?
Hey, Kev. How ya doin' over there? All good.
Just chillin' while Trav video chats with his lady.
Babe... why do you always make me do this?
You love it. Ooh. Slow song.
* And every night, I see you smile *
* And every night, I feel your touch *
They video dance. Hmm?
I hate it! And that's Kevin.
Oh. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.
You know why I'm not gonna panic about Grayson?
Because he wanted to say it,
he just... We were in the grocery store.
We all know how much he hates fluorescent lights.
I didn't know he... Shh, shh!
I've just gotta give him a little push. That's why I have
to make this the most romantic Thanksgiving ever.
That's my plan. Tell me it's great.
Thanksgiving is not a sexy holiday.
Ellie thinks it's great. Laurie?
In my family, we had to kill our own turkeys.
The way those little turkey orphans would look up at you...
Don't tell me that turkeys can't cry!
This will work.
All right, freeze. You, too, tiny dancer.
Kevin.
Your outfits are unacceptable.
I want you all to be swanky. Now go.
Ah. Much better.
You know, Katy Perry wore
12 different outfits
at the MTV music awards.
I'm gonna beat that tonight.
I am pulling out all of my a-list outfits.
Starting with the one after this? Seriously?
All right. No fighting. Not on romantic Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna get some candles and my Teddy Pendergrass CD.
Where should I put this wine?
In our bodies. Oh!
That is so sweet. Thank you. Mm.
There you go. Mm. Cheers.
Okay. Let's kill his optimism. How do we do that?
He needs to lose something he can never get back,
something really meaningful.
How about fried grapes? They were Elvis' favorite.
Not now, Zach!
Something meaningful like what?
Like... his wedding ring.
Oh, my God! You just boosted that? Mm-hmm.
Aw, what's the inscription say? Oh, nothing, uh...
"Too legit to quit"?
Andy thought it was timeless.
Stupid '90s.
Hey, everybody.
Wow, what's with the boot-knockin' grooves?
Is that Teddy Pendergrass?
It's his Thanksgiving album. It's the same songs,
but instead of saying "making love, " he says "eating Turkey."
No, he doesn't. Listen.
* I wanna make sweet love to you *
Okay, do you wanna argue about lyrics,
or do you wanna start your co-hosting duties
by having some champagne and maybe making out with me?
The second one. Really?
That guy's more whipped
than a baguhna-duhdah!
What are you laughing at?
That was intentional gibberish.
Now do you really care that little about what I have to say?
Dad, no.
We understand big... Chunks of you.
Sometimes whole paragraphs.
And when we don't understand,
we still get your tone. Not helping, Trav.
What are you looking for?
My wedding ring. I don't know how it fell off.
It usually gets knotted up in my knuckle hair.
Those rings are a symbol of your love.
Oh, no. I'm so sad, I can't catch my breath.
Dial it down!
I'm okay. I'm better.
Ah, I'll find it. Everything comes back to me.
Hey, maybe it slipped off when I took off
my weight lifting gloves. Pow! Pow!
Suckah!
Is that a burka?
I don't know. What's a burka? Oh!
I'm glad no one else is here.
I like cooking with you alone.
Hey, what about trying some of my stuffing?
Oops. Oh. You got some on your lip. Let me get it.
Mm. Mmm. Mm. Mmm.
Do you know where dad is?
Probably somewhere not being a third wheel.
You know, I can't stop thinking about what you said yesterday.
Jules... Yeah.
You are so special to me...
And I want you to know... I wanna know.
Well, I need you to know... Tell me.
That I...
Oh, my God. Is that your stomach?
What's in that stuffing?
What, the oyster stuffing?
I forgot you were allergic! How bad is it?
Oh, God!
All right. Why are you looking in here?
The ring is gone. Just give it up
and admit that sometimes things
don't go your way. Well, if it really is gone,
I have to believe it happened for a reason,
and maybe it's because we need new rings,
since the "too legit to quit" engravings you chose
are a little outdated. You chose them?
Hammer's an artist, and he's been overlooked. Ppfft.
I promise, though, one way or another,
good will come to us. Maybe...
I'll get to marry you all over again.
Hee hee!
Barf. I married a care bear. He can't be defeated.
Agreed. Just give him his ring back.
I gave it to you.
That was, like, four outfits ago!
Hey, dad. You know what'll cheer you up?
Our annual Turkey day game of catch.
Okay, I get that you're mad, but I'm not sure
who you're punishing by letting the ball hit you.
Oh, he locks his mouth,
and you can't figure out how to swallow the key
with a locked mouth, can you?
Fine. Didn't wanna do this, but come on.
So you remember when you won $300 off that lotto scratcher
and I videotaped it? Yeah. So?
Well, you're mad at us because we can't understand you,
but why don't you tell me exactly what it is you said?
Whoo, boy! 300 smackeroonies!
Whoo! Sweet lady victory showed me her boobies, son!
We gon' be eatin' beef bourguignonne tonight!
Whoo!
I'm a monster.
Aw. You feeling a little better?
Your color's coming back.
Well, maybe not in your face, but look at your hands.
They're purple. That's good, right?
Cool, cool porcelain.
Do you want me to get you a ginger ale?
Or would you like me to stay here so you can finish
what you were saying before?
Oh, God.
I-I get a little sick when I hear other people throw up.
Oh. Yeah. Yep. Here it comes.
Hold my hand. It can still be romantic.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Ow, ow, ow.
This soft, fleecy blanket hurts? Uh-huh.
Man. You're my Thanksgiving co-host.
You know, the food's gonna be ready in about an hour.
Do you think there's any chance that you might make it over
if I stall for a while?
You mean, like, a month?
Oh, baby. Ow.
Okay.
Ah, big Carl.
You can almost fix everything.
I can't believe you lost the ring!
It's your fault for giving it to me, lady!
Jules, are you gonna help look?
I know Grayson's not coming over because he's sick,
but thanks to that stupid "I love you,"
I feel like it's still rejection.
Honey, why don't you go back over there
and just ask whether he loves you or not?
If he says he loves me
I will always think it's because I pushed him.
Plus, he'll resent me for putting pressure on him.
Stuff like that always ends relationships.
Yep, yep.
Has anyone tried frisking Laurie? I mean, sometimes
my missing stuff actually ends up in weird spots on her body.
So not true.
Really? Last week... my earring, your armpit. It happened.
Yeah. It did.
Check my undies.
Gotcha.
You know, I feel stupid in this dress.
That's enough.
It was funny, 'cause I'm not wearing any underwear.
I know. I got it.
Guys, the romantic Thanksgiving is over.
If you wanna change clothes, go ahead.
Ah. Mm.
I am much more comfortable like this.
No, no, no. I don't like that.
Andy, we need to apologize for something.
And you know how apologizing makes me resent our love,
so even though I look away and act like I don't care,
know that I feel really, really bad. Laurie, go.
You were so annoying with all your positive reggae stuff
that we took your ring.
And then we lost it.
Whatever. I don't care.
This is so exciting.
What?
Oh, there's gotta be a reason this happened, right?
I-I can't wait to find out what it is. Can you?
Oh, brother.
I take back my awesome apology!
Too late. Thank you for loving me so much.
Do you have an app that shows you how to murder your husband
without getting caught? I do.
Hold on. I just have to find it. Hold on.
Hold on. Oh, hold on. Hold... Wait. I messed up on it.
I'm gonna go back. Hold on. How about...
Sorry. That was an accident. Zach!
Hold on.
No, you hang up first.
No. You.
No, you. No, you. You. You.
Problem solved.
I'm sorry, Trav.
Redialing. Ohh. All right. Scratch it.
I'm gonna go ask Grayson if he loves me.
But you said that always ends relationships.
That was ten minutes ago. Oh, but...
Oh, don't bother. Once she gets like this, nothing can stop her.
Hey, Jules. Where you going?
Talk to Grayson. Ask if he loves me. Ruin everything.
Oh, no, no! Wait!
This is the reason.
I am supposed to be here looking for my ring right now
to keep you from going over there and making a total a...
You know what? No. Forget that.
Look, yesterday you guys were happy, so just chill.
Everything's gonna be fine.
When you are this optimistic, it is hard not to punch you.
Seriously, I...
My hand is literally shaking, I want to punch you so bad.
Well, you could either punch me and then go over there
and ruin everything, or you can just believe
that things with you and Grayson
will keep getting better and better,
'cause you're the type of person who deserves to be happy.
Oh, look.
Look. My wedding ring.
Oh. Hmm. That's cool.
Wanna go back inside?
Yes.
* Me ring come back, the Jules calm down *
All right. No, no, no. All right, Mr. Happy pants.
Tone it down. Just get in the house.
* Dee yo, yo, yo * No.
Are you ready? Count of three.
One... two... Hello? Hello?
Is your girlfriend having
a nice holiday with her family?
Look, I like the way you talk, okay?
I'm already starting to miss it.
Give me a taste of old Bobby. Old Bobby-baroo.
Figured out a way to swallow the key.
I love you, dad.
People don't understand me either.
That's why I don't talk as much.
Have you been sittin' there the whole time?
All my friends make fun of me.
The only one who doesn't is Travis.
Makes sense now. He was raised by a mumbly.
A Bumblebee?
A mumbly. You should be grateful you have friends
that love you the way that you are.
Are we done talking now?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, everyone.
I present you the Turkey
and Laurie Keller's ninth and final outfit.
I would've beaten Katy Perry,
but I ran out of boob tape.
Aw.
Still, I've never been prouder of myself, so...
Yeah. Yeah. Nice.
Okay. Everyone, let's join hands.
You know, every year this blessing gets easier for me,
because I am more and more thankful
for all of you in my life.
You all give me so much love that, I don't know,
sometimes I-I hope I give enough back to you. You do.
Seriously, it is amazing to stand here and know
that if I ever needed any one of you, that you would...
Hold on. H hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. I can't miss the toast.
Yeah. Okay. Go ahead.
...If I ever needed any one of you,
that you would be there for me.
So thank you so much. I love you guys. Let's eat.
Yay!
Pass the potatoes.
All right.
Someone's gotta carve the bird.
I'll carve the bird. You're gonna carve it.
Jules, what I was gonna say
before you poisoned me...
I'm so lucky that I found you.
I'm not as open and quick with my feelings as you are,
but thank you for not putting any pressure on me.
You take as much time as you need.
Not too much time, right?
I wouldn't. Right.
* I'll show you how *
* You can take my hand *
* And save me *
Okay. You all know the rules. First team to guess
what in Sam hell we were saying gets a point.
This is way better than pictionary. Go.
Okay. Golf balls. Eagles.
Galapagos Island things you take off your body.
All right. Some sort of animal.
Uh... it's either Bolshevik revolution or, uh...
All right. Jules!
Umm.. We're gonna go with animals. Yeah, baby! Yes!
No.
He says no. Really?
No. No. All right.
We're gonna do this again. We're gonna go again.
No point. No point. No point. No point. No point for the ladies.
No point. No point. No point.
Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by arnozet www.addic7ed.com